It goes like this…
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work. I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this workout. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
There are some of us who undoubtedly dream of their wedding day being surrounded by loved ones.
It just wouldn’t seem right saying your wedding vows with just strangers present, no speeches, no dancing the night away with your closest friends, would it?
Today more and more couples are now opting for elopement weddings. The word ‘elopement’ has actually changed in its meaning over the years and no longer refers to young couples sneaking off to tie the knot. Now it’s more about small, intimate weddings with just the bride and groom or a very small bridal party, pre-planned or just spontaneous.
Somewhere amid the chaos of wedding planning, a couple may find themselves imagining how much easier it would be to drop everything and head down to the courthouse to say “I do.”
A couple’s wedding day is supposedly all about them, but many married partners will tell you that isn’t always the case. It can be, though, if you elope.
When you elope, “you’re able to make your wedding your own and keep it your own,” said Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist based in New York. “You’re able to sidestep everyone else’s opinions of your decisions.”
Does God approve of eloping?
Let’s start with the civil wedding itself. Marriage is what we call a “common grace ordinance” — that is, a gift from God that is (unlike salvation itself or the Lord’s Supper) God’s gift not just to the church but to all of human kind. Because that’s true, purely civil wedding ceremonies are, biblically speaking, entirely permissible and appropriate. In other words, your sister is technically right on that one.
It’s also true, as we read in 1 Corinthians 7, that “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” and that believers should marry “if they cannot exercise self-control” rather than “burn[ing] with passion” . So the best case scenario here (such as it is) is that your sister and her husband were struggling against temptation (without falling into sexual sin) and decided, as your sister said, to get married more quickly for the sake of sexual purity. If that’s what happened, then your sister and brother-in-law were also heeding Scripture’s very real and repeated admonitions to “flee from sexual immorality” and to “control [their] own bod[ies] in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”.
Having said all that — and admittedly not knowing anything else about your sister’s relationship with her new husband or their relationships with their families — their decision concerns me for a number of reasons. First of all, just because a civil ceremony is technically permissible doesn’t mean it’s best or even advisable. As Christians (I’m assuming your new brother-in-law is a Christian), why wouldn’t your sister and brother-in-law want a ceremony that acknowledges the centrality of Christ and the Gospel and that acknowledges the marriage is before God and not just men?
The Pros and Cons of Eloping
Have you ever considered eloping? It’s a difficult decision for many couples. Some brides and grooms don’t want to deal with a big wedding and all the planning stress that goes along with it. Other couples don’t know how to get their guest list down to an affordable size without offending a lot of people who believe they should have been invited. Other couples simply want to have their big moment be entirely between them, with nobody else present to distract them. Whatever the reason, don’t underestimate how many brides and grooms are choosing elopements over big traditional weddings.
As with every major decision in life, there are pros and cons to consider. Take a look at my lists below to help make the right decision for you:
1. Every decision you’ll make in planning is about what exactly you and your fiancé want. You don’t have to take anybody else’s preferences or wishes into account.
2. You can elope and have your honeymoon all in one place, saving you extra travel expense. While your friends are returning from their own weddings exhausted, you’ll come back refreshed from a relaxing vacation.
3. You only have to spend the money for you and your fiancé’s enjoyment. If you want to have your wedding dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town, go for it! It’s just the two of you.
4. If anybody in your life objects to your wedding plans, you don’t have to tell them anything about it until the deed is done.
1. Some of your family will feel hurt they weren’t included. And good friends may feel slighted as well. Especially if it’s a surprise.
2. You may have to plan some sort of back-home reception later on to avoid hurt feelings, and that means you’re not really getting out of wedding planning by eloping, just postponing the inevitable.
3. You won’t get amazing wedding photos of you dancing with your father, your friends dancing badly, and other late night shenanigans because the only trouble you’ll be getting into will be with your new husband.
4. You don’t get to be “Princess for a Day” with a full court of ladies-in-waiting, so to speak. Getting ready will be a more solitary experience. And while you’ll be the center of attention for your new spouse, you won’t be the guests of honor at a big party just for you.
If you really want to run away and get married, but you fear, most of all, the blowback from those who love you, my professional recommendation is to suck it up and live with planning some sort of informal event with those people after you’ve returned from your honeymoon. You don’t have to do it right away, but let everybody know that you will, in fact, be inviting them to come celebrate your marriage with you soon.